Longtime Harvard basketball booster Thomas Stemberg on Wednesday announced the appointment of the boosters’ latest Director of Communications.
“I am delighted to report what I consider a recruiting coup on a par with the Keith Wright hocus pocus of several years ago. IHO’s Ancient Quaker has signed a contract in perpetuity with our club.’
The AQ recently resigned his position as Chairman Emeritus of the End the Nightmare Society in the City of Brotherly Love, a move most observers expected after the nightmare ended.
“While my work in Philadelphia is over, I leave with a heavy heart,” the AQ said in a statement. “After all, with Steve Donahue in The Palestra can another nightmare be far away? I look forward to working with Tom and Tommy in the future. I will concentrate in two areas: One, getting rid of the Academic Index, which should be a no-brainer since we don’t pay any attention to it anyway, and two, hitting up some of our “fans” for The Amaker Fund. Our goal this year: Get Tommy the first membership at The Country Club ever offered to a basketball coach.”
When asked if it was true that Steve Bilsky had sought the position, Stemberg gave a terse, “No comment,” and left the podium.