ALL FOOLS’ DAY: Yale fan gives up, pledges allegiance to Harvard

Lifelong Yale basketball fan Peter Levin has renounced his fan allegiance to the Bulldogs and, despite having graduated from Yale in 1985, has announced to family and friends that he will now root exclusively for Harvard athletics teams going forward.

“I’m tired of being the bridesmaid,” Levin told his psychiatrist. “Always the padawan, never the jedi. Yale losing to Harvard in the Ivy playoff game after being 2.3 seconds away from a league title at Dartmouth was the last straw.”

Levin said identifying with Yale basketball and football had made him feel inadequate and believe that he didn’t deserve success and happiness for himself.

“Yale came so close to winning the league title this year in both basketball and football,” Levin said. “But let’s face it, that’s never going to happen if it didn’t happen this season.”

Levin said rooting for Harvard may not feel right on a personal or moral level, but he’s tired of losing.

“At some point, you have to think like Steve Ballmer and Bob Scalise did in 2007 when they realized they could buy Ivy championships,” Levin said. “It doesn’t matter how you win. It only matters that you win.”

Levin’s psychiatrist disagreed, saying that she herself was a Harvard graduate and was disgusted by Harvard’s questionably aggressive recruiting tactics, cheating scandal and willingness to admit players with lower academic profiles.

“I prefer hockey anyway,” she said.

1 thought on “ALL FOOLS’ DAY: Yale fan gives up, pledges allegiance to Harvard

  1. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Looks as if the Quakers are feelimg more than usually envious of the Crimson today. The defamatory comments are not, unfortunately, very funny.

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