April Fools: Dartmouth hires @DartmouthMBK to be new head coach

The powerhouse that's only a tweet away.
The powerhouse that’s only a tweet away.

Opting to go in a different direction after firing Paul Cormier, Dartmouth Athletic Director Harry Sheehy announced in a press conference in the boxing gym at Leede Arena Friday he was hiring Dartmouth’s Twitter feed to be the Big Green’s new head coach.

Sheehy told excited Ivy basketball reporters that he was impressed by @DartmouthMBK’s Twitter banter with Ivy Hoops Online and other Dartmouth hoops followers, and that that kind of charisma is what it will take to get Big Green basketball a national following beyond Hanover.

“I want to win the hearts and minds of basketball fans across the country, not just in Hanover,” Sheehy said. “Rudy LaRusso may not be walking through that door, but a program-saving Twitter feed sure is.”

@DartmouthMBK announced a marketing campaign to draw attention to Dartmouth basketball that would highlight Evan Boudreaux’s spectacular coiffure and Hanover’s newly refurbished Sanborn Road.

@DartmouthMBK beat out finalists Keggy the Keg and Paul Cormier for the coaching position.