April Fools: Maodo Lo retires from basketball to pursue art career

MANHATTAN — At a hastily called press conference in Low Memorial Library, Columbia star guard Maodo Lo announced his retirement from the game of basketball, citing his intent to begin a career as an artist.

Though most in attendance expected Lo, the third leading scorer in Columbia history, to declare for the NBA Draft, the 6-foot-2 scoring guard stated that he felt a call to the world of studio art.

“Basketball is fine, but it just doesn’t touch my soul,” Lo told a perplexed crowd of journalists.

“Crossover dribbles are beautiful, sure, but they are fleeting. You can only ponder them for a mere moment before I shoot a three-pointer over some guy’s head,” Lo observed. “With art, I can ask the question — what is a crossover? Why do we feel what we feel when we see it? These are the questions I wish to explore in my painting.”

In response to questions from German media, the unanimous All-Ivy selection said that representing Germany in the Olympics was less important to him than continuing to hone his artistic skills.

“It’s like, I could play basketball in the Olympics, or I could create a thought-provoking piece of art which will inspire viewers long after I have left this mortal coil,” Lo said. “It was a hard decision.”

Lo is not the first Ivy basketball player to feel the pull of the artistic world. Brandon Sherrod sat out the 2014-2015 season to tour with the Yale a cappella group “The Whiffenpoofs,” while Conor Voss left Columbia earlier this year to pursue his lifelong dream of joining the New York City Ballet.

Conor Voss, pictured here in his first appearance with the New York Ballet.
Conor Voss, pictured here in his first appearance with the New York Ballet.

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