Princeton discovers that its 2018 Ivy League slate was doomed by tiki curse

Princeton men’s basketball coaches and players think they’ve discovered what caused a previously inexplicable seven-game losing streak in Ivy play this past season.

Coach Mitch Henderson discovered that one of his players had unearthed a small tiki idol during the team’s stay in Hawaii for the Diamond Head Classic in December and took the idol back to Princeton as a good luck charm.

It wasn’t a good luck charm.

Instead, it turned out to be the same tiki idol worn by Greg Brady in an episode of the fourth season of The Brady Bunch.

“And it turned the rest of our season into Cousin Oliver,” Henderson lamented.

Henderson discovered the tiki idol around the neck of Will Gladson on the ride back from Princeton’s 25-point loss at Columbia.

“So that’s how Desmond Cambridge made that circus shot and why we couldn’t stop AJ Brodeur in the second half at Jadwin,” Henderson realized. “It even explains why he blew a 22-point second-half lead at Cornell.”

The Tigers played much better sans the tiki curse, despite suffering two more overtime defeats versus Harvard and at Yale.

Princeton’s slide amid the Ivy slate was even more confounding given the Tigers’ 16-0 run through league play last season.

“That season was like our “Johnny Bravo” episode,” Henderson said.

Henderson expects Princeton to return to its high standard of Ivy excellence next season, free of any ancient curses and with standouts Myles Stephens and Devin Cannady still on the roster.

“We put the tiki in the Palestra,” Henderson explained. “It can do its voodoo there now.”

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