ALL FOOLS’ DAY: Penn’s class of 2019 decommits

After the March 29 decommitment of Penn recruit Jule Brown, in a stunning reversal of fortune, the rest of the entire 2015 recruiting class for the Quakers has decided to decommit as well.  Colin McManus, Jake Silpe, Tyler Hamilton, Jackson Donahue, Max Rothschild and Morris Esformes, all called new head coach Steve Donahue to inform him of their decision.

“I don’t know what to say,” a bewildered Coach Donahue told IHO. “But I made it to the Sweet Sixteen with a bunch of state-funded douchebags from Cornell, I think I can make it the Final Four with the team we got here now.  This is Philly basketball.  You think Kentucky can handle Darien Nelson-Henry? I wish the young guys well.”

Penn athletic director Grace Calhoun was also sanguine.

“Ah, no comment at this time,” Calhoun said.

Then, in even more stunning news, all six are now reportedly matriculating at Harvard. When reached for comment on his yacht, coach Tommy Amaker was noncommittal.

“You know, I was like just sittin’ here watchin’ Duke in the NCAAs and like, all these Penn kids start callin’ me up and said they wanted to come here,” Amaker said. “At first, I was like, ‘This is a joke, right?’, but they told me they wanted to play JV ball here. I dunno, things just come to me what can I tell ya.”

Read moreALL FOOLS’ DAY: Penn’s class of 2019 decommits

The case for Jerome Allen

(Laurence Kesterson/AP)
(Laurence Kesterson/AP)

For the next three weeks, there will be no shortage of people calling for Jerome Allen to be fired and replaced as Penn basketball’s head coach. The reasoning is simple: With Allen at the helm over the past five and a half seasons, the Quakers have gone 63-99 and appear on their way to another below .500 season along with a third straight bottom half of the Ivy League finish.

But no matter the reasons his many detractors will provide for his ouster, there are definitely reasons to keep Allen aboard for next season. The following isn’t an opinion piece advocating for Allen but simply lays out the main factors Athletic Director Grace Calhoun will have to look into before making her final decision after the season.

Read moreThe case for Jerome Allen