Time for a new Ivy Hoops Online feature – #TweetWatch will round up some of the best Ivy hoops-related tweets in a given week. Ancient Eight, meet 21st century:

Lots of good stuff going on here. First, I’ve never seen Jerome Allen smile that wide at a postgame presser, win or lose. Second, everyone who bet that Allen would win a “pop-a-shot” arcade competition between City 6 basketball coaches before Penn basketball won its first game can collect. Still, props to Allen and his City 6 counterparts for shooting hoops to raise money for the nonprofit food bank Philabundance, which does fantastic work. The Camp Out for Hunger campaign was sponsored by the Preston and Steve morning radio show from local Philadelphia station 93.3 WMMR. Keep making it rain, Jerome.

Clearly inspired by Allen’s pop-a-shot dominance, the Quakers notched their first victory at Navy later that week. Then the Sixers beat the Timberwolves to avoid going 0-18. Best night for Philly sports in a long time.

If all the Ivies had a bowling tourney, you just know the Big Green would destroy the rest of the league. With that ever so loose tie Paul Cormier always wears, coach and players alike are always ready to knock down some pins. In fact, let’s just turn Leede Arena into a giant bowling alley while we’re at it. After all, candlepin bowling is huge in New England. But given that Dartmouth has struggled in recent years and hasn’t made the NCAA tournament since 1959, when the Professional Bowlers Association was in its infancy, Big Green fans don’t want to hear about Dartmouth being Kingpin Central…

Of course, there’s a strong chance Maldunas used “bowlers” to mean “ballers,” but that’s just not as much fan. Plus, there’s not much that’s ballin’ about being 1-4.

This is surprising. Take a good look at this alleged trash-talking superstar, senior golfer Will Davenport:

Is that a mustache?
Is that a mustache?

That’s his Twitter bio, by the way. Doesn’t exactly scream “beast at taunting.” Looks more like a cross between young Eric Idle and Dallas Buyers Club-era Matthew McConaughey. But I will definitely believe Sears on this one, because the Boston Globe has confirmed Davenport’s trash-talking aptitude:

That’s some top-flight trash-talking right there. Probably made Tim Murphy cry before his Crimson beat the Bulldogs for the 16th time in 21 years.     

And finally, just as an Ivy football bonus, I leave you with an excerpt from a Twitter Q&A with just resigned ousted Columbia football coach Pete Mangurian, who left the program today amid allegations of physical and verbal abuse of his players. The Q&A was appropriately conducted on April Fools’ Day, because you could say “April Fools!” after every boilerplate “Next year we’ll be better!” response he gave. The most egregious response below:

BS detectors at the ready:

So they went through hell, did they? By “hell,” did you mean forcing players to play through concussions and telling them they were terrible [expletive] people?

The real answer for @NakedShort11 should have been this: “No difference. 0-10 for the second straight season and inspiring further hatred for the program I run.” Fixed.