April Fools: Ivy League considering Mohegan Sun, other options for next conference tournament

Obviously better than the Palestra.


The Ivy League has a good problem on its hands – there are just so many intriguing options for where the league can hold its next postseason conference tournament.

Ivy League Executive Director Robin Harris said one choice at the top of many Ancient Eight officials’ list is Mohegan Sun in Uncasville, Conn.

“I think it’d be more meaningful to play the game somewhere most Ivy folks have never been before,” Harris said. “I’ve heard a lot from Princeton fans about how unfair it was to have the Palestra to host the tourney, and a lot from Dartmouth fans about how far they would have to travel to attend. Well, the planetarium at Mohegan Sun would be welcoming for Princeton fans since their team plays its home games in a spaceship, and since Dartmouth’s nickname used to be the Indians, they should appreciate playing in a venue that has put a significant financial strain on the Mohegan Tribe. Also, Keggy the Keg should love Margaritaville.”

“The Palestra’s great,” Princeton coach Mitch Henderson said. “But why take a backseat to the rest of the history of college basketball there when you can share a venue with Nickelback? And the Palestra may have turned 90 this year, but Betty White turned 95, and her Tall Tale Video Slots have turned out more winners than the Palestra has lately.”

While admitting that the basketball court at the LA Fitness in Bridgeport, Conn. remained a possibility to its equidistance from a greater number of Ivy campuses, Harris stated that Penn freshman center AJ Brodeur’s backyard hoops basket was a more likely tourney destination.

Harris’ only stipulation to league presidents and athletic directors so far has been that the conference tournament cannot be held at Jadwin Gym.

“It’s too quiet there,” Harris said. “I’d be able to hear myself think about how much flak I’ll get if any team other than the No. 1 seed wins.”

Leave a Comment