ALL FOOLS’ DAY: Brown basketball budget to be used on hockey team

Athletic director Jack Hayes announced Wednesday that Brown, which has easily totaled the lowest amount of basketball expenses among all Ivies since 2004 according to Office of Postsecondary Education statistics, will transfer the remaining monies in its basketball budget to the budget for its men’s hockey team.

“Hockey rules at Brown, inasmuch as it rules at all,” Hayes said in a statement. “I just wanted to be transparent for once about where our institutional support really lies.”

The basketball team will raise funds going forward by pooling together lunch money taken from the players by coach Mike Martin.